Today I was in the bus coming back home, feeling totally scaterred, depressed and without purpose; deep feelings which I didn’t have in a very long time. Being so focused on my own thoughts and mind I didn’t even notice the other people around me. When I realize the other people I kind of felt ashamed because of my depressive thoughts, thinking that the other people are much happier than me. And yet when I started to observe the people around me I noticed that every single person was in its mind, with their own thoughts, nobody connecting, nobody looking at each other, nobody talking, they all looked depressed and like they were having the worst day of their lives. It’s like we were all together in the same place, but yet separated by invisible boxes, each one living in their own box.
Is this normal? Is this how people should treat each other and themselves? Is it like this every single day?Aren’t we part of the same tapestry?Aren’t we in this world together?Aren’t we made from the same material?Aren’t we all spiritually connected? Why is it not normal to talk to strangers in the bus and ask them how they are, how their day was? Isn’t the purpose of life: love, joy and happiness? In what kind of world are we living? Since when is the world in a chronic depression? Should we not be grateful and happy just for the fact that we are alive and we can breathe the same air? Should we not be happy just to see other people no matter who they are?
I didn’t have these questions in a long time. When I was a little girl I remember I had these questions every time I saw people angry, every time I saw people sad, every time my parents were arguing, every time they were not satisfaied with their condition. And every time I felt sad and I wanted to change the situation, because it is just not possible for me to understand why people are not happy and joyful all the time, why is their mood changing. And I would have gave everything just to see them happy.
Once I grow up I accepted that this is how world works, after being disapointed over and over again, than got integrated in the “system” and didn’t ask questions anymore.
And yet I truly believe it is not a natural state of mind and I can feel it in every cell of my body and I always did. Depression should not be the dominating state of so many people, it should rather be an exception than a rule.